If you dislike my random stories, rants and general nonsense... You're going to love this.
I don't want to be buried or cremated. I want to be forever preserved cryogenically and kept in the living room of my loved ones homes in a transparent preservation tank. Naked. That way I can creep people out even after I'm dead. Take that girl at the bar last night that said I stare too much!
She said my approach was odd, off-putting and generally disturbing.
She was obviously drunk out of her mind.
I don't even understand peoples (more specifically, girls) issues with my pickup lines. What's wrong with saying "Hey, I'm a chronic masturbator. What's up?". I understand that it doesn't actually get any particular message across, other than you suffering from CMS (Chronic Masturbation Syndrome), but it sets a certain mood. It really says "Hey, I'm an honest guy with probable chaffing. What's up?".
On a website I visit someone posed the question:
"Would You Wear a "Free Lindsay" T-Shirt?"
My response was:
"I'd wear a "Free Lindsay" shirt if it also said In to the Lions Den"
Why? I don't support drugs nor prostitution (unless it's immediately available to me after a drinking binge for under $20 and negotiable - either one, by the way).
Back to my story:
Amidst the sparkling conversation, I began to buckle under the pressure of her questioning. I mean, she was one of those girls that keeps repeating herself. It was cute at first, but there's only so many times I can hear:
"Leave me alone! Stop following me you creep"
Bitch was like a broken record. So finally, I ended my pursuit with a bang. I figured if there's anything girls like it's a man who's persistent, so I told security she was doing heavy amounts of cocaine in the bathroom and needed to be escorted home. When they were getting her address I accidentally stood close enough to overhear it and write it down.
To be continued.
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