Lee & Krys in NJ part 1:
New Jersey is what I'd consider the worlds cesspool. It's an abominate, abhorent, contempitable state with little to offer... (other than nearly leagal prostitution and an oddly high count of 24 hour Dunkin Donuts). The only upside to this night was a single good looking strumpet. She winked at us, if only to non chilantly offer her services without being too forward.
The begining:
If Jersey wasn't disgusting enough with the nasty, rotten stench of herpes infested prostitutes. My friend came to visit me from upstate new york, and during one of his stories about his lenient uncle (who use to handcuff his girlfriends and put their vagina's on display for young Krystopher to visually explore), we were abruptly interrupted by a scene like no other. A young fellow, who is probably the head cashier at the local Paki-mart, was receiving a tender oral massage while driving towards the Lincoln tunnel with no passenger in sight. As he put on his four-ways, we noticed a woman's head pop up from under the steering wheel; a woman -presumably a prostitute- popped her head from underneath the dashboard. The whore had him stop the vehicle on the side of the road to spit out what I believe was excess cum she could not swallow. This young man must have had quite the load if a jersey harlot could not contain his semen. Noticing the hysterics ahead of us, Krys, mid-sentence, halted his nonsensical prattle about his childhood misadventures in order to give the screen-written-esque scene taking place ahead of us, his utter and undivided attention.
Later That Night:
It is not 3:21am. I am sitting in an overpriced motel (the type of motel that has mirrored ceilings and rooms by the hour. Hell, there are even hookers available outside for the lazy, and a candy bar machine that sells Newport's alongside the snickers bar). How inviting. I'm half-heatedly listening to Krys rambling about the interjections of his Asian mistress from across the country, when I stumble across an interesting craigslist ad.
But First...
Me and Krys decided to walk a grueling mile to the local 24 hour Dunkin Donuts. We were well aware of the motels integrity before checking in, but we never expected to be greeted by 3 police cruisers and several hookers scattered across the parking lot upon our return. Evidently someone wasn't satisfied with their 12 dollar blow job... the hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts was good though.
The Indian (non English-speaking) employees (aka family members of the owner) didn't seem as cooperative with our relentless questioning as I expected. I was told that Indians were generous and hospitable people ... lies were told.
Back In The Room:
Krys decided to air-out his Athletes Foot infested feet around the desk area, distributing the smell of a thousand unwashed balls around my face. It was on purpose, I'm sure of it. Meanwhile, as I was choking on the wretched stench of his toe residue, I realized that the girl I had emailed earlier finally responded to my outlandish email:
"If me and my friend tape our cocks together, it's almost 10 inches.. Almost. Listen babe, lets cut to the turnpike and get this wagon-wheel rollin'"
Her post asked for a well endowed man that was both attractive and fit. With impossible odds like those, I decided to shoot for the stars.
Her reply to my odd email however, was quite a literal releif:
"If you guys wanna get dirty with me, just verify you're real at this website"
Her response included a link which led me to a porn site I then used to satisfy my need for a female with.
The end... for now
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