I decided that it was a wise idea to travel to the 24 hour McDonald's up the road from the building I currently reside in at 10:30 at night. Boy, was I ever wrong. Here's a play-by-play of my escapade.
10:20 - I'm hungry. I search the area for food. My search is unsuccessful. I stare at my cat and contemplate the process of killing, defurring and skinning him. McDonald's it is.
10:21: I'm out the door and trekking towards my destination.
10:21: I'm stopped by two black dudes. Already?
10:22 - I am now barefoot.
10:35 - I'm about 15 minutes from McDonald's. The walk itself is a total of 10 minutes, though barefoot the grainy sidewalk isn't easy. I stepped on several shards of glass, a lit cigarette bud and what seemed to be a bloody condom.
10:36 - I am attacked by a group of Latinos. I now regret renting the apartment just because of its low price. I wonder why it was so cheap?
Between 10:36 and my arrival at McDonald's, the events were so terrible they cannot be depicted without graphic photos.
10:50 - The lady at McDonald's looks like she just gave birth to leprosy. I'm not impressed by the cleanliness (or lack thereof) of the restaurant. I call her hygiene in to question.
McLady:
S'cuze me madafucka? U tellin me I dirteey?
Me:
All I said was that the boils on your fingers look like they might have leaked on to my fries...
McLady
I'm sorri but U can't be doesin this like dat.. Uz being a racism and I'z doesn't appreciate dis kinna treatments.
Me:
I'm sorry, maybe it's your lack of teeth, but could you repeat that part about you being a nasty cum driven piece of hood trash with a future dependant on a government check and the 7 illegitimate children you may or may not already have, Tayihsna?
It's safe to say the night didn't end so well for me. Conclusion: Don't eat fast food.
No comments:
Post a Comment